Gundam Wing: Endless Klutz
by duckish
Summary: Oookay...my brother wrote this, so I'm hosting it for him. Parody of pretty much the first half of Endless Waltz. Contains yaoi references, bleeped swearing, and a really bad song...^_^
1. Introduction

Konnichiwa minna-san! My brother, played here by W, decided to write a little parody-ish thing for Endless Waltz. He even put me in it. *sighs* It's the thought that counts.right? Anyway, this has spoilers up the wazoo and yaoi references and is kind of silly.Vash from Trigun, and a little Monty Python are in here too. Ah.he's only twelve, so he thinks it's the funniest thing since burping the alphabet.^_^ ~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Gundam Wing: Endless Klutz  
  
---  
  
Narrator: However, as long as mankind exists. . . there will always be battles.  
  
K: I have the remote! I am victorious!  
  
W: *tackles her* Mine!  
  
K: Never!  
  
Narrator: . . .  
  
---  
  
Sally: This is Water.  
  
K: No it isn't! It's coffee!  
  
Sally: *sweatdrops*  
  
---  
  
Quatre: I'm going to miss you Sandrock.  
  
Duo: See you later, old buddy.  
  
K: 'See you later'? How would you see it later? Are you planning something Duo?  
  
Duo: *turns bright red* Shut up!  
  
Heero: *pokes his head in the door* Hey Duo! Did you get my present?  
  
Duo: Yeah!  
  
Quatre: Is that why you put a bottle of champagne in Deathscythe?  
  
Heero: *winks*  
  
(Misc. yaoi fangirls everywhere get massive blushes. . . several nosebleeds are also reported.)  
  
---  
  
Duo: I wonder who everyone's doing?  
  
[I actually thought he said this. . .]  
  
Quatre: Well.I heard Zechs and Noin are together. And Trowa still comes over every Thursday for-  
  
Duo: I meant HOW! How is everyone doing! Geez, I did NOT need to know that!  
  
Quatre: *blushes*  
  
---  
  
President: As you're aware, it's only been seven years since our colony, L3- X18999 was completed.  
  
K: That's kind of a silly name to call a colony.  
  
W: Maybe they use its nickname!  
  
K: Nickname?  
  
W: Armageddon!  
  
K: Wouldn't that spoil the plot?  
  
W: Plot? What plot?  
  
---  
  
(Relena passes out whilst mumbling about peace)  
  
Relena: Peace and. . .love. . .yeah. . .that's it! Love. . .love and peace. . .  
  
Vash: LOVE & PEACE!  
  
K: *glomps Vash*  
  
W: *sweatdrops*  
  
---  
  
Trowa: It looks like this colony has other forms of entertainment.  
  
Cathy: Other forms of entertainment?  
  
W: Whores!  
  
K: *slaps him upside the head*  
  
W: Oro. . .  
  
---  
  
Real Trowa: Will the real Trowa Barton please stand up, please stand-  
  
*Is violently hit over the head with a frying pan*  
  
---  
  
Real Trowa: Hey, no-name. . .  
  
Trowa: Hmm?  
  
Real Trowa: I'll show you something I've never shown anyone.  
  
K: Eww. . .  
  
W: Don't do it!! Trowa, run!!!  
  
Real Trowa: *pulls out picture of his sister and Mariemaia*  
  
K/W: *sigh in relief*  
  
---  
  
Dekim: We thank you all for your effort to tolerate the intolerable and bear the unbearable over this past year.  
  
K: . . .what???  
  
W: Isn't that like a huge oxymoron?  
  
K: You mean like 'Military Intelligence'?  
  
W: Yeah.  
  
K: Probably.  
  
---  
  
K: If Trowa were trying to hide, you'd think he'd change his hair!  
  
W: It was kind of obvious. . .and what about Dekim's bullet? Wouldn't it have hit the guy behind Trowa, since Trowa jumped and did his little flip thing?  
  
---  
  
(Movie is paused right as Trowa is landing in frond of Dekim; he bears an uncanny resemblance to a ballet dancer)  
  
K/W: . . .  
  
W: Look at me, I'm a ballerina!  
  
---  
  
Sally: This is Water. . .  
  
K: No it isn't! It's coffee dammit!  
  
Noin: This is Fire. . .  
  
W: Maybe they're talking about those Snapple Element drinks.  
  
K: I like Rain and Sun.  
  
W: I like Velocity and Gravity.  
  
Dad: What on earth are you guys talking about??  
  
K: Coffee!!!  
  
W: *sweatdrops*  
  
---  
  
Sally: And the bad news doesn't end there.  
  
K: . . .I'm out of clean underwear.  
  
---  
  
Mariemaia: . . .so don't try anything funny.  
  
(Relena puts on Playboy Bunny Suit and hops around the room yelling: I'm a bunny! Ribbit! I'm a bunny! Ribbit!)  
  
[Thank you Ilana. . .]  
  
---  
  
Quatre: What do you plan on doing?  
  
Duo: I'm supposed to be going to X18999 with Heero. I'm sure we're gonna have a blast of a party there.  
  
K: Aww. . .how cute. A date.  
  
---  
  
Quatre: Without the Gundams?  
  
W: Yeah, everyone knows that you need a Gundam to REALLY party!  
  
---  
  
(Wufei in Nataku slices off Heero's suit's arm. . .)  
  
Wufei: Ha!  
  
Heero: 'Tis but a scratch!  
  
Wufei: A scratch?! Your arm's off!  
  
Heero: No it isn't.  
  
Wufei: What's that then? *gestures to detached arm*  
  
Heero: *looks at stump where arm used to be* I've had worse.  
  
Wufei: You liar!  
  
Heero: Come on, you pansy!  
  
(Fight resumes)  
  
---  
  
Dekim: My calculations are accurate. Unlike those of Quinze (pronounced 'Cans'). . .  
  
K: Cans?  
  
W: Can Cans have calculations?  
  
K: Can Can you do the Can Can. . .  
  
---  
  
Mariemaia: Relena. Don't make me repeat myself. I won't allow such rude comments.  
  
W: F**k you!  
  
K: *giggles*  
  
---  
  
Quatre: The air remaining on the ship has minimized the rise in temperatures. But it's still hotter than a desert in here.  
  
K: *sings* It's getting hot in here. . .  
  
W: *sings* . . .so take of all your clothes.  
  
K: Wow. Quatre has a really good relationship with Sandrock, doesn't he?  
  
---  
  
Zechs: This is Preventer Wind.  
  
Dekim: Zechs Marquise!  
  
Zechs: Dang! You figured out who I was! No fair!  
  
---  
  
Zechs: This is Preventer Wind.  
  
Dekim: Zechs Marquise! I thought you were dead.  
  
Zechs: I was. But I got better.  
  
Dekim: ???  
  
---  
  
End of Part 1. 


	2. Bad Pick-up Lines

Oy! I updated! No, the end of the world isn't coming…quit running! As most of you seemed to like the first bit, I borrowed Endless Waltz again and we made some more! ^_^ Oh yeah, FYI, I _can_ burp the alphabet. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Gundam Wing: Endless Klutz 

Part II 

---

Dekim: Shoot us if you dare.

W: Dare'ers go first!

K: I don't think he's going to shoot himself…

---

Mariemaia: …so long as all of mankind bows before me.

K: *as Relena - no I won't stalk Heero…^_^* Oh, is that all? Okay then.

---

Quatre: The temperature in here is above eighty degrees. I'll just think of it as a big sauna.

W: …He's ARABIAN! Why would he care?

---

Dekim: You were a little late.

K: Nyah, nyah!!!

---

Heero: Duo, I have another favour.

W: *as Duo* Your every wish is my command!

K: *drools* 

---

Heero: Duo, I have another favour.

K: *as Heero (Me? In spandex shorts? Hahahahaa!!! I don't think so!)* Can I borrow a cup of sugar?

---

Heero: He's all yours.

W: *as Trowa - God forbid…* Really? Wow!

K: *sweatdrops*

---

Duo: I'll give you my best punch!

K: *as Duo* Now, did you want berry or tropical?

W: *as Heero* Hn.

---

Zechs: Is that you Noin?

Noin: Nooo, it's a giant, one-eyed, one-horned, flying purple people eater from Planet Shnitsey!!

Zechs: …

Noin: …of course it's me!!!

---

Noin: I've come to pick you up.

Zechs: Uh, okay.

Noin: Did it hurt?

Zechs: Huh? When?

Noin: When you fell from heaven.

Zechs: …

Noin: Okay, that was bad. I'll try something else…uh…oh! I know! Hey Zechs!

Zechs: Yes?

Noin: Did I ever tell you that if you were a sandwich at McDonalds they'd call you McBeautiful?

Zechs: *looks vaguely ill*

Noin: Well, that didn't work…

---

Noin: Zechs, it's been one year and two days.

K: Twelve hours, nine minutes, and twenty-two seconds.

---

Wufei: You're dropping this colony onto Earth?!

W: It's a really BIG spider…

---

Wufei: You're nuts!

K: I thought we were berries.

---

Wufei: All we need to do is defeat the necessary enemies!

K: I think he played too many video games as a child.

---

Wufei: I'll destroy all the evil, fair and square!

W: As opposed to?

---

Wufei: And I will become evil itself to find out!

K: *puts pinky to side of mouth* Muahahaaa!!! (A-la, Doctor Evil…)

---

(Sally is sneaking around, launching gas canisters.)

K/W: *begin to hum Mission: Impossible theme*

---

Sally: …You were kind enough to leave me plenty of good treats.

W: Good dog.

---

Wufei: I'm acting for the people who were used as weapons!

K: *imitating Rex from Toy Story 2* But I don't want to use my head!

W: I don't think he meant it literally.

K: …shut up.

---

Noin: What's a nice guy like you doing in a mobile suit like this?

Zechs: …*shakes his head sadly*

Noin: I'll take that as a no…hmm…ooh! I got a good one: Giant polar bear.

Zechs: What?

Noin: It broke the ice.

---

Okay, that's enough bad pick-up lines for today. Hope you liked it!


End file.
